October 30, 2007
How To Spot A Redneck Hunter With A DUI Conviction
How To Spot A Redneck Hunter With A DUI Conviction?
Continue reading "How To Spot A Redneck Hunter With A DUI Conviction"
Posted by Cube Dweller at 4:14 PM | Comments (2)
October 23, 2007
Wal-Mart Helps Improve Arkansas Reputation...NOT!
This came from a friend of mine- too funny!!! We had a "going away" party yesterday for a lady at our Little Rock claim office. One of the supervisors called a Wal-Mart and ordered the cake.
He told them to write:
"Best Wishes Suzanne"
and underneath that write
"We will miss you".
As the picture shows, it didn't quite turn out right. It was too funny not to keep it.
Continue reading "Wal-Mart Helps Improve Arkansas Reputation...NOT!"
Posted by Cube Dweller at 11:33 AM | Comments (0)
October 2, 2007
Bubba the Mortician....
A man who just died is delivered to a Kentucky mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. Bubba the mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look very good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives Bubba a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the viewing. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to Bubba, 'Whatever the cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, Bubba presents her with the blank check.
Continue reading "Bubba the Mortician...."
Posted by Cube Dweller at 10:12 AM | Comments (1)
July 30, 2007
You're An EXTREME Ohio Redneck (Hillbilly) When.....
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
Most rednecks probably can't even say the word Viaticals. If you want to learn more about Viatical Life Settlements, then you know where to go.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.?4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
Continue reading "You're An EXTREME Ohio Redneck (Hillbilly) When....."
Posted by Cube Dweller at 10:30 AM | Comments (1)
July 17, 2007
Gary's Weather Forcasting Stone
Continue reading "Gary's Weather Forcasting Stone"
Posted by Cube Dweller at 8:50 AM | Comments (0)
May 10, 2007
Texas Fisherman
A Texas redneck was stopped by a game warden in East Texas recently with two ice chests full of live fish in water, leaving a river well known for its fishing. The game warden asked
"Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the river and let 'em swim' round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take 'em home."
"That's a bunch of BS! Fish can't do that!"
The redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then said,
Continue reading "Texas Fisherman"
Posted by Cube Dweller at 9:41 AM | Comments (2)
April 20, 2007
Marriage Counseling Southern Style
Earl and Bubba, two guys from Elmore County, are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits, sips his beer and says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."
Continue reading "Marriage Counseling Southern Style"
Posted by Cube Dweller at 10:31 AM | Comments (0)
April 16, 2007
How to Install a Home Security System in the South
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
"Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside."
"Cooter"
Continue reading "How to Install a Home Security System in the South"
Posted by Cube Dweller at 11:02 PM | Comments (0)
April 13, 2007
Animal Training
A young cowboy from Miles City, Montana goes off to college, but half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money.
He calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Bozeman that will teach our dog Ole Blue how to talk!"
"That's amazing," his dad says. "How do I get Old Blue in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says. "I'll get him into the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
Continue reading "Animal Training"
Posted by Cube Dweller at 5:36 PM | Comments (0)
March 23, 2007
Bubba & the tater
Bubba liked to frequent the old swimming hole, but was never able to attract the girls.
He decided to ask his friend Billy Joe for advice.
"It's those big, baggy swimming trunks that make you look like an old fool," said Billy Joe. "They're years outa style.! Yer best bet is to grab yerself a pair of spandex Speedos about two sizes too little, an' drop a fist-sized tater down inside them. I'm tellin' ya, man, ya'll have all the babes ya want!"
Continue reading "Bubba & the tater"
Posted by Cube Dweller at 2:13 PM | Comments (0)
January 12, 2007
Rednecks Are Good At Sensitive Stuff
Three Rednecks were working on a cell phone tower - Cooter, Pete and K.C.
As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Pete says, "Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife."
KC says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.
Pete says, "Where did you get that beer, KC?"
"Cooter's wife gave it to me," KC replies.
"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"
"Well, not exactly", KC says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, You must be Cooter's widow'."
She said, "You must be mistaken, I'm not a widow.".... then I said "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are."
Rednecks Are Good At Sensitive Stuff.
Continue reading "Rednecks Are Good At Sensitive Stuff"
Posted by Cube Dweller at 2:45 PM | Comments (0)
MORE REDNECK PICS
Continue reading "MORE REDNECK PICS"
Posted by Cube Dweller at 2:25 PM | Comments (2)
May 10, 2006
WHY I LOVE THE SOUTH
This nifty piece of OfficeSpam was submitted by Jerry.
Posted by Cube Dweller at 9:21 AM | Comments (2)
