Office Spam™

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

ALASKA
More than half of the coastline of the entire United States is in Alaska.

AMAZON
The Amazon Rain Forest produces more than 20% the world's oxygen supply. The Amazon River pushes so much water into the Atlantic Ocean that more than one hundred miles at sea off the mouth of the river one can dip fresh water out of the ocean. The volume of water in the Amazon River is greater than the next eight largest rivers in the world combined and three times the flow of all rivers in the United States.

ANTARCTICA
Antarctica is the only land on our planet that is not owned by any country. Ninety percent of the world's ice covers Antarctica. This ice also represents seventy percent of all the fresh water in the world. As strange as it sounds, however, Antarctica is essentially a desert. The average yearly total precipitation is about two inches. Although covered with ice (all but 0.4% of it, i.e.), Antarctica is the driest place on the planet -- with an absolute humidity lower than the Gobi desert.

BRAZIL
Brazil got its name from the nut -- not the other way around.

CANADA
Canada has more lakes than the rest of the world combined. Canada is an Indian word meaning " Big Village."

CHICAGO
Next to Warsaw , Chicago has the largest Polish population in the world.

DETROIT
Woodward Avenue in Detroit, Michigan carries the designation M-1 . . . so named because it was the first paved road anywhere.

DAMASCUS, Syria
Damascus , Syria, was flourishing a couple of thousand years before Rome was founded in 753 BC, making it the oldest continuously inhabited city in existence.

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely: Picnic tables, horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn't been there in a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........


My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.

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Looking back over the years
that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder.....
"What the hell was I thinking?"

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Congratulations on your wedding day!!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

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How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?

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I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.


After having met you ...
I've changed my mind.

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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

You know it's hot in Montana when there is a Moose in the wading pool in your back yard. This was taken in Lincoln Montana.

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

"Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

All of these are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online names might appear ... and be misread.

These are not made up. Check them out yourself!

1. "Who Represents" is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is www.whorepresents.com

2 . Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try "The Rapist Finder" at www.therapistfinder.com