Office Spam™

For those of you who wish to attend, here is the official schedule of events Subject: DNC convention in Denver

Be sure to get your tickets early, so you don't miss this!
Denver, Colorado Agenda for the 2008 Democratic National Convention

7:00 pm Opening flag burning

7:15 pm Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N. in Spanish

7:20 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:25 pm Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jessie Jackson & Al Sharpton

7:45 pm Ceremonial tree hugging

7:55 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:00 pm "How I Invented the Internet" - Al Gore

8:35 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:40 pm Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry

9:00 pm Saddam Memorial Rally - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

...Help me OB Ron Paul --- You are my only hope!...

During a commercial airline flight a Veteran Navy Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms.

When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible. The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon debarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related impedimenta.

We rarely get a chance to see another country's editorial about the USA.

Read this excerpt from a Romanian Newspaper The article was written by Mr. Cornel Nistorescu and published under the title 'C'ntarea Americii, meaning 'Ode To America') in the Romanian newspaper Evenimentulzilei 'The Daily Event' or 'News of the Day' ~An Ode to America~

Please remember the Boston Tea Party of 2007. The Ron Paul revolution has begun, and it is up to us to lead. If you care about foreign policy, the Iraq War, Immigration, home-schooling, and the restoration of the constitution then this is the election that will change everything. Please do your research and get involved.

Why are Americans so united? They would not resemble one another even if you painted them all one color! They speak all the languages of the world and form an astonishing mixture of civilizations and religious beliefs.

Still, the American tragedy turned three hundred million people into a hand put on the heart. Nobody rushed to accuse the White House, the Army, or the Secret Service that they are only a bunch of losers. Nobody rushed to empty their bank accounts. Nobody rushed out onto the streets nearby to gape about. Instead the Americans volunteered to donate blood and to give a helping hand.

Timeless style ... Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. While my wife's brother and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found

It is not often that I get to find out where some of this great officespam comes from, but on this post the author was nice enough to let me know where it came from. Feel free to skip this post and head over to 15 Minute Lunch and see this post in the original form. here

something under the insulation. What we found was this:
A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often e-mail fodder just falls in my lap, but this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking. I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:

Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom:

There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes.

The clothes are fantastic.
Here's how to get your butt kicked in elementary school:

Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.

Here's how to get your butt kicked in high school:

This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Here's how to get your butt kicked on the golf course:

This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against butt-rapery.

Here's how to get your butt kicked pretty much anywhere:

If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.

Here's how to get your butt kicked at the beach:

He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.

How to get your butt kicked in a meeting: