Office Spam™

  
While taking a routine vandalism report at an
elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl
about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform,
she asked, "Are you a cop?" Yes," I answered and
continued writing the report. "My mother said if I
ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that
right?  "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then,
"she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would
you please tie my shoe?"   

 
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van
in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment,
my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little
boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you got back
there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled,
the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the
van. Finally he said," What'd he do?"   

  
While working for an organization that delivers
lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my
4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was
unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old
age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth
soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

  
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
party When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she
warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And
why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you
a headache the next morning. "  

  
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his
church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer
that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his
5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead
robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed,
they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then
dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the
deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the
appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity
intoned his version of what he thought  his father
always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto
the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."
......aka(unto the Holy Ghost:) 

  
A little girl had just finished her first week of
school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her
mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't
let me talk!"  

  
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was
fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old
leaf that had been pressed in between the pages "Mama,
look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you
got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's
voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."