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February 10, 2007
Embarrassing Medical Exams
These are the Embarrassing kind of mistakes that turns a doctor into a plastic surgeon.
1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one. So I shortly after moved my practice and am now doing Beverly Hills plastic surgery.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, Beverly Hills, CA.
2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Who is now practicing plastic surgery in Seattle, WA
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg who specializes in cosmetic surgery in Los Angeles, CA.
4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair who is now performing plastic surgery in San Diego, CA.
5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson who is now offering plastic surgery in Dallas, Tx.
6. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Currently a breast augmentation specialist in Staten Island.
7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
Submitted by RN no name
AND FINALLY!!!................
8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".
Dr. Wouldn't submit his name
(Can't blame him!)
This nifty piece of Office Spam was submitted by a chattanooga wedding photographer.
Medical Humor | By Cube Dweller | 11:45 AM
Comments
hilarious ...
i didnt know doctors had jokes ...
i thoguth it was always lawyers ...
hehe ...
Posted by: subcorpus at February 11, 2007 3:46 PM
I don’t think plastic surgeons are the ones that drop out from a traditional medical practice. They are typically the best in their field who choose to help people with nontraditional medicine. If I were going to have to find a good plastic surgeon to have Rhinoplasty done, then I would want to find a plastic surgeon and not just an ordinary doctor to operate on my nose. I would probably try to find a plastic surgeon in either Beverly Hills or New York city. Rhinoplasty is a tricky operations and I would only want the best operating on my face.
Posted by: tinker at February 11, 2007 4:56 PM
Can't remember where I read that one about the punk lawn before. But it's pretty damn quaint all the same.
Posted by: Hank at February 12, 2007 1:22 AM
Haha OMG..WOW~!
this is why i want to be a doctor =D
Posted by: KomugiStyle at February 14, 2007 9:23 PM
The 'big breaths' joke also appeared in a different version in an old British comedy movie of the 1950s or early 60s (one of the 'Doctor in the House' series). The Doctor, with stethscope placed on teenage girl's chest, says 'big breaths', and the patient replies: 'Yeth and I am only thixteen'.
Posted by: patenter at March 1, 2007 2:20 AM
absolutly funny... did all that really happen?? some r ridiculous!!!!!! great for a laugh
http://7confessions.blogspot.com
Posted by: confessinggirl at March 17, 2007 7:34 PM
thanks for that I needed to laugh.
Better at a Dr. than the old man. He always get mad
Posted by: yvonne at March 18, 2007 10:43 PM
GHAaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Posted by: jim bim at September 12, 2007 5:03 PM
the KY is the worst one
blech
Posted by: femmme at September 25, 2007 1:00 PM
Can't remember where I read that one about the punk lawn before. But it's pretty damn quaint all the same.
Posted by: インプラント at October 23, 2007 10:34 PM
dat is some funny stuff, thanx 4 a good morning laff
Posted by: bob at July 8, 2008 10:23 AM
Doctors, nurses, policemen, ambulance drivers, firemen--- we all laugh at the oddest things!
Posted by: Betty Barker at August 15, 2008 1:25 PM
