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January 23, 2007
Wal-Mart job application
WAL-MART APPLICATION
This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas
They hired him because he was so funny.....
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place ?
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m . Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread Actually, I'd like to be doing that now
NEAREST RELATIVE:.7 miles
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
***Old People Rock!***
This nifty piece of Office Spam was submitted by a chattanooga wedding photographer.
Office Spam™ | By Cube Dweller | 8:49 AM
Comments
I do recall seeing this exact same thing as a 17 yr old applying for McDonalds, but then again, that was probably stolen from somewhere too! :D
Posted by: Doc at January 24, 2007 11:52 PM
Just what I was thinking! They are both probably stolen :p
Posted by: Chris at January 26, 2007 12:40 AM
stolen along with all the pens and post-it notes.
Posted by: sam at January 26, 2007 4:33 PM
send me a job application from wal-mart
Posted by: Janet at April 6, 2007 7:57 PM
blackmale looking for work
Posted by: mitchell at May 9, 2007 1:17 PM
so you guys are so gay. this is so fake.
Posted by: lisa at May 11, 2007 1:12 PM
Not funny at all.
Posted by: stevenseagal at May 15, 2007 12:05 PM
Please forward
Posted by: Herb at May 23, 2007 8:39 PM
Thank for the offer. I'd rather see you fit on that job.
Posted by: tanga at June 13, 2007 6:12 AM
i would enjoy woring for your companie
Posted by: christy hilt at June 25, 2007 9:31 PM
ha ha .. that was great..
Posted by: ashley at July 28, 2007 1:56 AM
Looking for a job at WALMART
Posted by: Waleska Ortiz at August 7, 2007 4:32 PM
Can you send me a application of WALMART?
Posted by: Waleska Ortiz at August 7, 2007 4:34 PM
yes hey i was writing u about a job i really need i have to take care of my lil brother so i would loved if u write me back
Posted by: anthony thompson at August 30, 2007 5:13 AM
i really would like to have this job so i could get more responsible... I would like to help my mama out...i like dealing with the public and i got great communication skills....
Posted by: Menya Rowland at September 4, 2007 2:05 PM
I AM A REALLY HARD WORKER AND NEED A JOB. IM ALWAYS ON TIME WORK ROUND FOOD FOR 26 YEARS. THANK U
Posted by: rosa sanchez at September 7, 2007 5:16 PM
Seeking part-time emplyment, currently atending school to become a medical assistand. Preffer overnight stacking, friday, saturday and sunday. Accomplishing,Organized, Respectful.
Posted by: Diego Esparza at September 14, 2007 12:24 PM
i'm looking for a cashier job are a customer service.
Posted by: calunetta bryant at September 20, 2007 10:20 AM
I am looking for a great job
Posted by: Donna Taylor at September 25, 2007 5:51 PM
Keep looking, you won't find it at Wal Mart!
Posted by: Sam I Am at September 26, 2007 4:11 PM
That was the funniest application I ever read... I'am also looking for a Job at Wal-mart. HA HA HA!!!
Posted by: Cleshawn at October 2, 2007 9:18 PM
Dianne Marie Sewell
1246 South Central Park
Chicago, Illinois 60623
(773)-726-1394
deedee166@hotmail.com
Objective: To obtain an entry-level position to utilize my communication skill and gain successful workplace experience.
Education: Manley Career Academy High School
Major: Medical Assistant
Courses: Introduction to Health
Anticipated date of Graduation June 2008
June 2003: Herzl Elementary School
General Courses
Graduated June 17, 2003
Employment: Youth Media Ink (YMI) April Kune 2001-2003
Youth Action Fund (YAF) April Kune 2003-2005
Volunteer: Herzl Elementary School 1994-2003 Chicago, Illinois
Assisting Teacher
Filing Papers
Manley Career Academy Chicago, Illinois
Office Work
Filing Papers
Women of Density
Umoja
Skills: Computer typing
Speed 20 wpm
Personal: Hardworking, good worker, good team work, positive attitude, respectful,
Traits honest, intelligent, and outstanding.
Awards: Manley Career Academy High School Chicago, Illinois
Half Cap
Junior Pinning
Black History
CPR Certificate
CPR License
References: Available upon request
Ms. Zabrina Hutchins
Nursing
1537 South Trumbull
773-216-0202
Chicago, Illinois 60623
Ms. Brenettia Walton
School Clerk
Manley Career Academy
2935 West Polk Street
773-534-6900
Chicago, Illinois 60623
Ms. Jacquelyn Dunn
Counselors
Manley Career Academy
2935 West Polk Street
773-534-6900
Chicago, Illinois 60623
Ms. Tashika Benson
CTA Bus Driver
2722 W. Gladys
773-744-3712
Chicago, Illinois 60623
Posted by: Dianne M. Sewell at October 3, 2007 12:48 PM
part time job for friday,saturdy and sunday
Posted by: NITIN VASHISHT at October 18, 2007 10:39 PM
i want to work at walmart if thats cool
Posted by: Robyn at November 3, 2007 12:32 AM
do you have a thing i have to fill out
Posted by: jessica at November 7, 2007 2:42 PM
im updating my application
Posted by: matthew shirley at June 12, 2008 8:47 PM
https://hiringcenter.walmartstores.com/OnlineHiringCenter/initialPage.jsp
online walmart application for those of you who looked here for it.
and if you REALLY want a job
go to snagajob.com and look
thats how i found MY job
Posted by: kayla at July 3, 2008 4:06 PM
