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October 2, 2006
Hell Explained
HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my G**."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
Office Spam™ | By Cube Dweller | 9:27 PM
Comments
Just thought to let you know, the story is a hoax as reported at snopes.com
http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp
The story pre-dates the internet.
Sorry to burst your bubble.
Posted by: Dave at October 3, 2006 12:52 PM
And also, this was totaly posted on another digg site by a kid trying to be funny in a chat room. Just an FYI =)
Posted by: dude1 at October 3, 2006 1:44 PM
Wow, that deserves an A+ for creativity mixed with logic!
Posted by: mark at October 3, 2006 2:00 PM
Whatever. Was a fun story anyway.
Posted by: dude2 at October 3, 2006 2:07 PM
Hell hath no fury like a Digg fanboy taunted with a faux story presented on the front page.
Posted by: brettbum at October 3, 2006 2:21 PM
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Posted by: Plink420 at October 3, 2006 3:53 PM
I wish all hoaxes are as funny as this one, but I guess that happens when hell breaks loose...
Posted by: hottestbrain at October 9, 2006 6:47 AM
i neva thought tht much.. it was indeed entertainin'!!!
Posted by: hafza at October 23, 2006 8:54 PM
Not the original version.
Posted by: anon at November 2, 2006 5:37 PM
True are false, he does have a point. Teresa is indeed a lucky girl.
Posted by: Wixy at November 22, 2006 7:01 AM
Doğruyu söylemek gerekirse ben buraya sadece yorum yazmak için yazıyorum :D
Posted by: ayn at December 6, 2006 3:00 AM
hell is separation from god not about heat how many but rejection of one who die for all my sins your sins believe and not see hell
Posted by: leandis at December 9, 2006 11:02 PM
The point is, it's a joke. Also, I have seen another version of this which has a different outcome.
~Joel
Posted by: Joel at December 28, 2006 11:58 PM
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Posted by: Lisa Tucker at February 14, 2007 3:59 AM
i didnt understand any of that no wonder i failed science
Posted by: person at June 26, 2007 2:36 PM
totally sharing with my chem teacher lol
Posted by: lexa j.c. at December 2, 2007 12:31 PM
