March 1, 2013
A guy walks into a restaurant and sits at a table. He Tells the waitress, "I'll have a Bloody Mary and a menu."
When she returns with his drink, he asks "Still servin' breakfast?" When she says yes, he replies, "Then I'll have two eggs-runny on top and burnt on the bottom, five strips of bacon well done on one end and still raw on the other, two pieces of burnt toast and a cold cup of coffee."
| By Cube Dweller | 2:24 PM | Comments (0)
June 22, 2009
80,000 PEOPLE VOLUNTEERED TO FILL AND LAY SANDBAGS. THEY ARE THE ONES IN THIS COUNTRY THAT WORK, PAY TAXES, AND DON'T WAIT FOR SOMEONE FROM WASHINGTON TO HELP.
MAKES YOU WONDER - WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN IOWA (THE HEARTLAND OF AMERICA ) AND NEW ORLEANS ? NEW ORLEANS EXPECTED THE GOVERNMENT TO REBUILD THEIR CITY AND THEIR HOMES. IOWA JUST DEALT WITH IT. Where were the Hollywood celebrities holding telethons asking for help in restoring Iowa and helping the folks affected by the floods? Where was good old Michael Moore?
....Asking where the FEMA trucks and trailers and food services were?
November 19, 2008
"What majestic trees! "
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
November 3, 2008
October 20, 2008
An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects.
1. A bible.
2. A silver dollar.
3. A bottle of whiskey.
4. And a Playboy magazine.
"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself. "When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.
August 6, 2008
A "heads up" for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers.
Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.
Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.